The true virtual reality is Other Peoples' Pain, I've often said. You can't feel what you can't sense or see. It's like what Ice Cube's Boyz n the Hood character, Doughboy, said,
"Either they don't know, don't show, or don't care about what's going on in the hood. They had all this foreign shit. They didn't have shit on my brother, man."
Doughboy was in pain. His brother Ricky had just been shot and killed. But it didn't seem to register beyond his block. Sometimes that non-acknowledgement is just ignorance, willful or benign. Sometimes there's full knowledge but zero feeling. Either you feel the cold. This all comes to mind in the aftermath of yet another shooting of a black man.
I wonder how many, right now, have Alton Sterling on their mind. Alton Sterling, the beaming, bright and black man shot dead last night on a dark, dark street in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
Sterling's death is an outrage. You can see footage of the shooting here. Pinned on his back, shot like a dog.
If a tree falls in the woods and his name is Alton Sterling and there is a cell phone to record all that happened, then the truth of a man or woman's last moments before falling, being fell, might come to light.
But if a tree falls and his name is Not Alton Sterling and only the police are there, who has faith that they would tell a true story? We know how some might (justifiably?) feel, in the moment. But after the fact, has any ever told a true story? And, we also know, many don't feel no kinda way, anyway.
According to the Guardian, in 2016 to date 558 people have been shot by police, and 135 of them have been black. I wonder about those among us for whom, behind those barbaric numbers there is a specific name, a twinkling smile, a hearty laugh, a warm hug, an irrepressible optimism or, yes, also, someone just short of redemption, just short of another consecutive day of being on the right path, a man or woman under a cloud but who could - who would - have made it to the other side with a little more time, love and support.
But I also think on other recent tragedies and the extent to which they register emotionally. After the Paris terrorism attack an outpouring prayers, well-wishes and identifications with France. What's it called when you overlay a translucent flag over your profile picture on Facebook? That. But after equally horrific acts of terror in Turkey, Bangladesh, a smattering of coverage; mostly indifference. That has to sting if you are Turkish or Bengali.
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I've been trying to come to grip with this fact of (our) life. By identifying with some people's pain but not others, particularly when I bear no familial or direct personal connect to their culture or heritage, I am both validating one group and devaluing the other.
You can't be everything to everyone, no doubt, but it doesn't minimize the impact of the ignorance on public policy. For example, to pivot to a topic often on my mind, not only are many white people still oblivious to the way their race can privilege them (which includes being shield from state harm), but they are also unaware of the current and historical institutional application of disadvantage - pain - to black peoples. Little to no idea urban schools are, comparatively, so underresourced. Or, no idea how often realtors, bank and rental agents discriminate. Or, unaware, often incredulous, of the extent of nakedly unjustified police violence against people of color. Or, that historic entitlements like Social Security, were not available to domestic and agricultural workers (sharecroppers). Or, what the dissimilarity index is, or the concentration and isolation effects of segregation on employment, education and public safety. And yet... Yes, with little idea and even less feeling, and yet with privilege and advantage continuing to accrue, many white Americans met with deep resistance the very public attempts to directly compensate (busing, affirmative action) for centuries of slavery, oppression and general plunder.
Other people's pain.
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